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| 01) TWTD Issue 53, Mar 2000: "Ex-defender has eventful one-off return match" |
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| Written by Daniel Harvey And James Powell | ||||||
| Tuesday, 21 March 2000 | ||||||
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Malcolm Baggio has plugged his football console into the Raydon generator in order facilitate Ramblings activation. It was good to see ex—Raydon player Don Keg at last week’s match against Thetford Foresters. Keg, the towering defensive stalwart, was in the area visiting one of his ex—wives. He still holds the unfortunate accolade of having the worst disciplinary record of any player to have played for Raydon. He made 308 appearances between 1983 and 1991 picking up 101 yellow and 21 red cards. Despite this horrific record — he was the cause of six opposition hospitalisations — Keg always maintained that he never intentionally fouled, let alone injured an opponent. However Rickie Fish, the Bentley player who suffered a dislocated skull when Keg punched him in the face during a match in 1986 may beg to differ!
Keg left the club at the end of the 1990—1991 season to pursue a career as a rocket scientist in Grimsby although a combination of his complete lack of knowledge in the field with the fact that rocket construction is totally non-existent in Grimsby led to him taking a job as a fish finger bread-crumber – a job that he holds to this day. Now 48, Keg has hung his boots up but does coach an under 9s team in Hull.
However, he had a surprise when he turned up to watch his old team last week. Due to the unexpected absence of central defender Jack Crankleshank and fringe players Colin Muggles and Ronnie Twigg, Keg was drafted into the team to partner Mal Chipaway at central defence. He was eligible to play as manager Roland Peters had failed to delete his name from the club records back in 1991. Keg looked decidedly out of sorts as the game kicked off, thanks in no small part to the fact that he had no football boots and was forced to play in a pair of old slip-on Dunlop plimsoles that were 4 sizes too small which were found at the bottom of the club’s store cupboard.
Thetford took the lead after only ten minutes when Keg slipped and stumbled on the greasy surface before falling flat on his face, allowing an opposing striker a clear run at goal to slot home. Shortly after, Keg again could not stay on his feet and Thetford took full advantage, scoring a second with a header from a corner with Keg slipping over and losing his marker.
There was an amusing, if slightly unpleasant incident towards the end of the half when Raydon were awarded a freekick following an offside decision. Keg took the kick, launching the ball into the Thetford box, but his plimsole also flew off and became firmly lodged in an opposing-player’s mouth. The plimsole was soon dislodged but the unfortunate victim was left with unpleasant taste of dog excrement in his mouth. Club chairman, secretery and groundsman Lionel Stubbs had not had time to poop-scoop the pitch before to kick off due to a prior appointment at the local pub with a good friend and Keg had accumulated around 40 grammes of dog excrement on the soles of his plimsoles prior to the incident. Keg was ordered by the referee to secure the plimsoles on before play continued and he did so by wrapping shoe laces round his feet.
After the break, Keg moved up front where his slip—ups would hopefully prove less costly. Striker Dave Mackinackie moved to centre back. Raydon enjoyed most of the possession in the second half, and pulled one back after 60 minutes when Mansley Kilkorkey bundled the ball home from 20 yards after the ball had rebounded to him following a textbook goalmouth scramble straight off the training ground.
Raydon created numerous chances to equalise and they finally did so through unlikely hero, Don Keg. The veteran guest somehow managed to stay on his feet to nod the ball home from Saul Quan’s cross in the final minute. He attempted to run over to celebrate with manager Roland Peters but before he reached him he slipped over awkwardly and literally snapped his hamstring causing a sound similar to a guitar string snapping to echo around Clockton Park.
Result: Raydon Athletic 2-2 Thetford Foresters.  Add as favourites (86) | Views: 4791 | E-mail
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